Good For Something
CRIME SHORT STORY WRITTEN BYBY ROSEMARY HAYES
Caught between her ex, her nasty neighbour and now a slippery customer in the leaf pile, what could Laura do?
Laura was digging in the garden when she heard the rustle of dry leaves. Only a lizard, she hoped.
The leaves rustled again, and she glimpsed something long and slender. She froze. Or, at least, her body did. Her heart was thumping so hard she thought it would break a rib.
Directly in front of her, the snake emerged from deep within the leaves. The zigzag pattern on its back looked pretty, but she knew its bite was venomous. At least, that’s what her racing heart was telling her.
Go away, Laura silently pleaded.
The snake disappeared agonisingly slowly behind some garden pots stacked next to the shed.
“About time you did some gardening.” The voice belonged to Laura’s neighbour, Eric, who was peering over the paling fence.
Your place looks awful. Brings down the whole street, you know, when one person doesn’t keep up the standards.
Laura smiled through clenched teeth.
“It gets in such a mess so quickly without my Tom here,” she said.
Eric laughed.
“He’s not your Tom any more. Do you realise you haven’t even thanked me for telling you about that woman he was bringing here behind your back?”
And I never will, Laura vowed.
She still remembered the gleeful look on Eric’s face when he told her. He didn’t care about Laura’s feelings or the pain his revelation caused. Not one bit of sympathy or empathy came from Eric. Ever.
“I can understand his attraction to that woman, mind you,” he was saying now. “She was a looker, and you had let yourself go. What I can’t understand is her interest in him. Tom was good for nothing.”
Laura kept an angry response in check. But it was getting harder each time.
“Well, I’d love to chat,” she said, lightly, “but I’ve things to do, places to be. Bye.”
Later that day when she visited Robyn who lived down the road, she had every intention of telling her about the snake in her garden. But as soon as she walked in, she could tell Robyn was angry about something.
Fran from number fifteen was there, red-eyed and holding her baby close.
“Guess what that nasty man said this time?” Laura knew who she referred to.
“Fran was taking her baby for a walk this morning,” Robyn explained. “Eric came out of his house, took one look at the baby and said it was the ugliest one he’d ever seen. Fran’s been crying ever since.”
“Oh Fran, I’m so sorry,” said Laura.
“You know you have a beautiful baby. I know it’s not easy, but you just have to try and ignore him.”
Robyn poured everyone a cup of tea.
You’ve lived next door to him for seven years, and we know he’s just as nasty to you. How do you do it, Laura? That man is so full of venom.
Laura shrugged. “I just tell myself that what goes around comes around. One day his bad karma will get him.”
Late that afternoon, the wail of sirens drew everyone from Turner Street out of their houses. They were all curious to know why an ambulance and police car had stopped in Eric’s driveway.
Robyn came running over to Laura, who was standing in her front yard.
“I just overheard the paramedic and police officer talking. Eric himself called 999.”
“Did he have a heart attack?” Laura asked.
“Ha! You have to have a heart to have one of those.”
“Then what happened?”
“Snake bite,” Robyn whispered. “Somehow a venomous adder got into his bedroom. Gave the paramedics a huge fright. The police have called for a snake catcher.”
“Incredible.”
“I can hardly believe it either,” Robyn said. “I’d have thought one bite of Eric would have killed the snake.”
As the sun set, the two women watched solemnly as the paramedics wheeled a trolley out of the house. Eric must have been in a bad way, since he wasn’t complaining about anything. It was the quietest Laura had ever seen her neighbour.
Over the next few days, rumours flew about Eric. How even though he would recover, he wasn’t going to return home. He had a phobia of snakes and was terrified of another encounter.
Laura didn’t dare believe the rumour until the For Sale sign went up outside Eric’s house. And the day she spotted a SOLD sticker across the sign was the happiest of her life.
She closed her door. It was going to be so peaceful now.
Then she grinned. Eric was wrong, Tom was good for something. It was her two-timing, herpetologist ex- husband who had taught her how to catch and release snakes. Exactly what she needed to deliver some long-overdue karma.
