Diary Of A Modern Gran: It’s Disco Time!
‘Gan Gan,’ chirps Rose excitedly. ‘It’s our school disco on Thursday!’
Really? Aren’t they too young? After all, Rose is only seven and George is five. But it seems it’s all part of the ‘coming towards the end of term’ festivities.
The disco is being held on the field behind their village school. Thursday is actually my time for collecting from school, so hopefully I’ll get a peek! I must say that I feel quite excited and apprehensive. It takes me back to the days when we had teenage discos and my friends and I would dance around our handbags, hoping someone would ask us to dance.
But it seems that it’s not like that nowadays. At least, not for this age group. When I get there, they are just finishing off the conga. It looks like great fun!
There are hordes of parents everywhere helping out – including my daughter. George rushes up to me, listing all the names of the friends he’s been dancing with. Rose does the same. It sounds as though they had group dances, which is much nicer than waiting to be invited to step out!
Faces are flushed and bright. Everyone seems to have an ice lolly in their hands. And the sun is beaming! What more could you want?
‘Did you have school discos when you were young?’ Rose asks as I drive them home.
I explain that our school didn’t but that luckily we were invited to the one at a boys’ school several miles away. Of course, that wasn’t until the sixth form. We had to be sixteen years old before we could go.
‘Sixteen?’ repeats Rose in horror. ‘Why did you have to be so old?’
Good question. The fact is that I went to an all girls school from eight to eighteen, and by the time I got to university, boys were a very strange species. It seems much healthier to grow up as Rose and George are, seeing the opposite sex as friends before life gets more complicated.
‘What did you wear to discos, Gan Gan?’ asks George.
Both of them are wearing party gear – Rose is in a pretty dress and George looks very smart in his trousers.
‘In my day,’ I said, ‘we either had long dresses (sometimes from a shop called Laura Ashley) or dresses that came to the knee. In fact, my mother – your great-grandmother – would often make ours from women’s magazine patterns.’
Pic: Shutterstock
In fact, as I speak, I can clearly remember the first one. It was a blue and pink floral design and I loved it.
Then another memory creeps in of the very first disco I went to! It was held at the local hall in a suburb of Harrow where I grew up. I went along with my best friends Lesley, Susan and Christine. But no one asked us to dance. We all felt very upset and dejected.
So do you know where we went?
That’s right! We headed for my grandmother’s house which was just round the corner. She seemed very pleased to see us. Instead of an evening at the disco, we had a lovely time with her.
She gave us lemonade and shortbread and told us that our time ‘would come’ one day.
It did. But that’s another story.
Meanwhile, it’s lovely to see Rose and George looking so happy. As I take them back to their place, I know that memories like this will stay with them forever.
Do you remember your first disco? We’d love to hear about it. Just drop us an email at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Ask Agony Gran
I often read your column because my mum, who is a granny to my children, doesn’t seem very interested in them. Although she only lives an hour away, she made it clear when they were born that she wasn’t going to be ‘on tap’, as she put it. She told us that she had her own life. now that she’d retired, and that she’d seen friends who’d given up their lives to look after grandchildren.
Instead, she goes on holiday a lot, plays golf and occasionally comes round to see us. I can’t help feeling rather hurt by this. It’s not that I want free help – it’s more that I feel upset on behalf of my children Luckily, my mother-in-law is much more of a loving gran.
Name withheld
Jane says:
I am so sorry to hear of this. It must be very painful. I can see why you feel upset for your children. But people are made in different ways.
You don’t say if your mother was demonstrative when you were growing up. I wonder if she was always like this or if she’s changed. Perhaps she’s worried as she gets older, that if she doesn’t make the most of life now, she never will. I also wonder if she’s a bit nervous about the responsibility of looking after grandchildren. Many grandparents are.
You say that your mother-in-law is very involved with the children. So at least your children have one involved granny. You may well find, as your children grow up, that your mother might become more interested in them. Some people find it hard to engage with younger ones but can identify more with adolescents.
If it was me, I’d continue asking your mother around every now and then, and maybe get the children to make things for her like a bookmark or a picture that she can take home. Encourage them to tell her about school and what else they’re doing, even if she doesn’t seem that interested.
I wouldn’t show resentment. This can make matters worse. Instead, I’d keep the relationship going until the day when – hopefully – she comes round. Even if she doesn’t, it’s surely better than a row that divides the family.
You also say that your mother-in-law is a very loving granny. Don’t assume that because your mother seems a bit stand-offish, she doesn’t love your children. She might just find it hard to express her feelings. You have my sympathies. Good luck.
The Funny Things They Do And Say
Pic: Shutterstock
Thanks to Kerry for sending this in.
The other day, I was looking after my seven-year-old grandson while my daughter was working. I thought I’d sort out the washing and asked him to help me put the coloured clothes in a different pile.
‘When we’d finished, I saw he’d put several white school shirts in the coloured one. ‘That’s because they’ve got black marks on from playing football,’ he said. ‘So they’re not white any more.’
This made us chuckle. If you’ve got any stories about the funny things your grandchildren do or say, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Grandparent Tip
I save my grandchildren’s lolly sticks to use as planter marks for my seeds. I ask them to write their names on the sticks to make them even more special!
Thanks to Angela for this. If you’ve got any tips, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Where To Take The Grandchildren
ALPACALY EVER AFTER, Keswick and Penrith.
Tel 017687 78328
Meet llamas and go for a walk with them in the beautiful Lake District. Booking essential.
There are also lots of other llama centres round the UK. Just do a search for ‘llama walking’. We’ve done it in Cornwall with our grandchildren and they loved it!
Your Feedback
Thanks to Sarah for sending in this:
I liked reading your column on circuses last week. My friend does a circus-style hoop skills fitness class and says it’s the best thing she’s ever done – during Covid they suspended a hoop from a tree in the park!
Family News
Amo, amas, amat! That’s what I remember from my Latin lessons at school. (‘I love, You love, He/she loves.’)
Recent news reports say that Latin is now going to be brought back into the general curriculum for Key 2 children to help them increase their vocabulary.
Book Of The Week
The Plantable Children’s Book. Willsow. £9.99
I came across this during a visit to the beautiful Ottery Mill in Devon. Seeds are embedded in the pages and you simply plant the book for carrots and other veg (and herbs) to grow! You also meet herb and veg characters along the way. It’s going to be one of our summer holiday projects.
Available from various shops and also online. Just put the name into your search bar on Amazon.
More Reading!
At the time of going to press, Jane Corry’s new novel Coming To Find You is number 13 in the UK paperback chart!
When Nancy needs to find somewhere to hide, she seeks refuge in a home that was once owned by her grandmother. But someone is coming to find her.
Available in bookshops and supermarkets (on special offer at Tesco) and for 99p only for a limited time online. amzn.to/3FD7sMp
