Diary Of A Modern Gran: Granny And Her Circus Dreams
‘Gan Gan,’ squeals my five-year-old grandson down the phone. ‘We’ve been to the circus!’
There is pure magic in his eyes!
‘We saw a juggler and people who did clever tricks!’ His words are falling over each other in excitement.
How amazing! But I want to bring in his sister too. I can spot a corner of my granddaughter next to him on my iPad although her face isn’t on the screen because George is taking centre stage in his enthusiasm.
Even though I’m thousands of miles away, I can sense her hovering on the wings, wanting to tell me all about it too.
‘What about you, Rose?’ I ask. ‘What did you like best?’
A light comes on in her eyes almost as if we are talking to each other side by side.
‘I liked the girls who swung in the air in pretty dresses,’ she said.
The pair of them are clearly star-struck!
I can understand why too. I’ve always thought there was something magical about circuses ever since I read The Circus Is Coming by Noel Streatfeild. Maybe it’s that enormous ringside area where the action takes place, or the big top or the clowns on stilts in wide stripy trousers.
But I don’t know, because the truth is that I’ve never been to one.
Illustration: Shutterstock
In fact, one of the greatest disappointments of my life is when I was coming back from school at about the age of nine when I bumped into a neighbour.
‘I hear you’re going to the circus this evening,’ she told me.
Was I? Really? I ran excitedly into the house to find out more about this amazing piece of news.
‘Sorry,’ said my mother. ‘It’s just your sister who’s been invited. One of her friends had a spare ticket and have invited her along.’
That was over 50 years ago and yet I can still feel a ‘left-out’ pang even now. Isn’t that silly?
In a selfish way, I feel a similar ‘ouch’ now because I’d have liked to have gone with my grandchildren too. I love taking them to pantomimes and shows (Stickman was a real corker). But for me, the main attraction is seeing their little faces light up as they enter a magical world.
It seems shocking that circuses had caged animals not so very long ago. But it’s surely good that the format has now been adapted into a more humane way of entertaining families and friends.
‘How long is it on for?’ I ask my daughter on screen. Secretly I’m wondering if I can take Rose and George for a repeat trip.
‘Just for two more days,’ she tells me.
I’ll miss it by a few hours, then. Regular readers might remember that I’m in Spain to run a ‘How to write your life story class’.
Still I’m glad they had such a great family day.
It reminds me of something a granny friend said to me, years before I had grandchildren. ‘I’m learning that grandparenting is a balance of being there for them when they need you and not inviting yourself in when they don’t.
Wise words.
Suddenly, as I write this, a ping pops up in the Family WhatsApp. It’s my daughter. ‘We can’t wait to see you!’
Me too.
PS. I can’t resist telling you the story about my mother, who apparently told my father that she worked in a circus to make herself sound more interesting. The truth was that she was nursing an elderly relative from a well-known circus family. She confessed by the end of their first date! Obviously we weren’t around to find out more details but we’d love to have been flies on the wall…
Grandparent Tip
Thanks to Vi for sending this in.
‘I’ve been through a tough patch recently. So I started to make a list of all the things I’m grateful for when I wake up in the morning. And if I’m looking after my grandchildren overnight, we end the day with me asking what their favourite part was.
This was actually a tip which a friend passed onto me when we were ‘just’ mums and not grandmothers. It’s surprisingly uplifting. So I thought I’d pass it on.’
If you’d like to pass on a tip, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Ask Agony Gran
I look after my grandchildren, three days a week after school. However, one of my friends has invited me to join a table tennis group on one of those days. I’d really like to do it, but I don’t want to let down my son and his partner. They rely on me. Have you got any advice?
Name withheld
Jane says:
This is a tricky one, isn’t it? I’ve been in this position myself. To be honest, I think you’ve got one of two options. Either turn down the table tennis or have a chat with your son and his partner and see whether you can come up with an alternative childcare solution for that day of the week. Do the children have after-school club available, for instance?
It’s worth bearing in mind that it can be really stressful for working parents if their regular childcare falls apart. But on the other hand, we do have our own lives to lead.
I can’t make this decision for you. But I would strongly suggest a group family discussion. For a start, it would be wise for them to have some kind of emergency childcare in place, just in case you were ill. Good luck.
Children’s Book Of The Week
THE WORLD’S WORST MONSTERS by David Walliams.
A new ‘funny fantastical’ book by this well-known children’s author. Lots of colourful illustrations too.
Family News
Grandparents can help their teen grandchildren to get through those difficult years by providing another listening ear according to a new survey in the States. I’d agree with that. What do you think?
The Things They Do And Say
Thank you to one our regular readers Gabrielle from Germany, who emailed us this story.
‘Your column reminded me of how my primary school son, aged 8, who had quite a journey to school – in those days we could let our children go on buses and the underground in Berlin alone. One day he was late coming home for lunch (back then, German primary school was only in the morning). I was obviously worried, as I’d told him to come straight home and not go anywhere else. Well, this time he’d disobeyed and with his one German Mark he’d bought me a little ceramic teddy bear at a shop. I simply didn’t have the heart to reprimand him and that bear still looks down on me in my kitchen. Thankfully, he never “strayed” again as he saw how worried I was.’
Do email us your stories on moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Where To Take The Grandchildren
THE MILKY WAY ADVENTURE PARK, Bideford
North Devon
01237 431255
My grandchildren love adventure parks – especially as they know I don’t have a head for heights! These rides sound amazing with great names like Cosmic Typhoon, Cosmic Caterpillar and the Milky Way Railway.
Your Feedback
My column last week about writing your life story seems to have struck a nerve!
Here are two of the replies from our email postbag.
Your tips on writing a life story gave me an idea. How about picking out five objects from your past that means something to you and then writing about them?
For example, I’ve got a little china bowl that my mother gave me when I got married. I’ve taken a photograph of it on my phone and then written about what my wedding was like and how close I was to my mother. I thought your readers might like to do the same.
Hopefully, the photograph might help future generations identify the bowl after I’ve gone – providing no one has broken it!
Ellie from London
I was too scared to write my life story because it would mean divulging certain secrets in the past that could hurt others now.
Yet at the same time, I felt it would help me to write it down. So I took the plunge and wrote it. Then I tore out certain sensitive parts so no one could read it. I felt surprisingly lighter afterwards.
Name withheld
Do Houses Have Vibes?
This was the starting point for my new Penguin thriller COMING TO FIND YOU which is just out in bookshops, supermarkets and online. Nancy and Elizabeth are each sheltering in Tall Chimneys, a seaside house in Devon, 80 years apart. Both are in danger. Elizabeth lives in fear of being revealed as a spy for Churchill’s Secret Army. And Nancy is living the ‘silent sentence’ of shame because her stepbrother has committed ta terrible crime. Can Elizabeth’s story help Nancy survive?
COMING TO FIND YOU by Jane Corry (published by Penguin) is available in bookshops, supermarkets and online, amzn.to/3FD7sMp.
