Diary of A Modern Gran | Granny Skills
“Pleeese, Gan Gan,” says my seven-year-old granddaughter Rose earnestly. “Can you teach me to knit?”
This isn’t the first time she’s asked. In fact, regular readers might remember that we’ve tried before, without success (on my part!)
But the other night, I couldn’t sleep (is that familiar?) so I came down to the kitchen and decided to sort out the “knick knacks drawer” at 4am. Yes. I know. Crazy. But I felt it was better than tossing and turning in bed.
And there I found the cast-off needles (no pun intended) and a mangled skein of wool where I had left our last attempt at knitting.
I made the mistake of putting it out in my “throw away secretly” pile but my granddaughter discovered it after I picked up her and my grandson after school this week.
“I’m really not very good at knitting,” I say to Rose.
It’s true. My mother who sewed and knitted all our clothes from women’s magazine patterns, tried to teach me. But I dropped stitches all over the place.
Now I find my elbow aches when I wind the wool round a needle (probably due to years of tapping away on a keyboard to write).
“Pleeese,” says Rose. Then she adds, with a twinkle in her eye, “you’re always saying we ought to try things out.”
She’s right. So we have a go. I cast on five stitches, since the length will be more immediate. She’s enchanted. “It’s a fairy scarf! Can you show me how to do it?”
So I help her wind the multi-coloured wool round the shiny needles and her smile gets broader. I have a flash-back to when my mother did this for me.
But George, my five-year-old grandson is bored. “Can we bake some cakes?” he asks.
Oh oh. This is another skill which has passed me by. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I used to cook a lot but when my first marriage ended, I lost the heart for a bit. My second husband (a 53-year-old bachelor when I married him) prefers his own dishes so I’ve fallen out of the habit.
Still, cooking is what grannies are meant to do, isn’t it? Mine did. So I start rifling through my old cookery books to remind myself of the quantities for Victoria sponges.
George beats me to it. “Alexa,” he says imperiously, “how do you make cakes?”
Rose promptly drops the knitting needles and excitedly joins in the measuring out. But we have a problem. My mixer bowl is stuck to the machine and I can’t budge it. So I call my husband for help. It turns out that some jam had dried underneath from the Bakewell tart I’d somehow rustled up for my daughter’s last birthday. It’s now like glue. Oh dear.
Never mind, we’re up and running now. The children think it’s enormous fun. I manage to find some fairy cake cases which I’d discovered during that 4am clear out. “Can I lick the spoon?” they both ask at the same time.
“No,” I say.
Too late.
We pop them in the Aga and set a timer. But Rose, in her enthusiasm, has put rather a lot of mixture in. Her cake case has expanded into what looks like a sponge slug crawling over the baking tray. George’s are perfect.
Rose bursts into tears. “It’s all right,” I say, cuddling her. “It will taste the same.”
But she’s inconsolable.
“Don’t’ worry,” says her brother. “You can have mine.”
How sweet! The tears stop and together we warm some jam to put on the top.
“Is that my special jam?” asks my husband coming in. We’re rumbled!
“You can have a cake too,” say the children.
He glances at their jam-stained mouths and the shared spoon. “I think I’ll leave it, thanks,” he says.
Then the doorbell goes. The dog runs in the other direction (he’s very old and can’t work out where noises are coming from). It’s my computer man! Whoops. I’d forgotten he was coming.
So I take him upstairs to my study to explain what needs fixing while my husband looks after the children. On my way back down the stairs, I hear my grandson leaping around on the sofa.
“Please don’t do that, George,” I call out. “You might hurt yourself.”
“Do what?” says a voice from above. Whoops. I’d forgotten the computer man is called George too…
When my daughter comes to pick up the children, I present her with the misshapen fairy cake. “Thanks, Mum,” she says. I ought to admit here that my daughter is the queen of cake making; a skill I like to think that she has inherited from her grandmother.
My mother died when my daughter was one and I know that Mummy would have loved to have taught her grandchildren and great grandchildren to bake.
So I’m going to try harder. Next week, we’re having a stab at chocolate brownies. I’ll also have another go at knitting.
“You don’t need to, Mum,” says my daughter. “They just love being with you, no matter what they do.”
Ah. That’s lovely.
But I do have another idea. Rose, George and I are going to write a children’s book together. Watch this space!
What do you do with your grandchildren? Are traditional “granny skills” dying out – and if so, does it matter? Email us your thoughts at moderngran@dcthomson.co.uk.
Ask Agony Gran
“I’m going to be looking after my two-year-old grandson after Easter when his mum goes back to work. I’m a bit nervous about it and could do with some advice. Any suggestions please?” Sally, Eastbourne
Jane says:
Congratulations, Sally. This is a huge compliment to you and will give you memories for life as well as building a fantastic relationship with your grandson. But I can understand why you feel nervous. I felt the same when I began looking after mine from nine months for two days a week. The funny thing is that after a week or so, it was as though I’d been doing it all my life. So I am sure you will get ‘back into the saddle’ as it were.
Here are some pointers that might help:
Ask the parents for a written list about routine; where to find essentials such as spare clothes/nappies/thermometer; food to avoid; favourite food; emergency numbers including their workplaces and the doctor; local toddler groups. You will probably add a lot more to the list when you get going.
You may well know some of this already but it helps to have a list. I had mine on their fridge door.
Ask for a lesson on how to assemble equipment such as the pushchair (I couldn’t believe how complicated ours was).
If you’ve got any friends who are already grannies, get in touch and organise some granny/grandchild play dates. I made a lot of new friends at playgroup both with young mums and grandparents.
I also wrote a funny running brief on what we’d been doing and put it on our Family What’s App during the day as well as photographs. It reassures the parents to know all is well.
Good luck – and let us know how you get on!
A problem shared is a problem halved. You can contact us by emailing moderngran@dcthomson.co.uk. We only use first names.
The Funny Things They Say
“I love the lighter evenings but my five-year-old granddaughter got very confused when I said we’d ‘lost an hour.’”
“Can’t we go back and find it?” she asked me?
Diane, Ipswich
Thank you, Diane. This made us chuckle. I have to confess that I don’t have a very logical mind and I can never quite work out the logistics myself! Do send in your ‘funnies’ to moderngran@dcthomson.co.uk
Family News
Grandparents do not have an automatic right to see their grandchildren. However, you can seek mediation and also a court order. For more details, visit www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk.
Your Feedback
Thanks to Elaine who got in touch about my piece on fairness to grandchildren. We found it very touching.
“When I was growing up, my parents always told me off more than my younger sister because I was the ‘eldest and should know better’. This really upset me. In fact, I don’t have a good relationship with my sister as a result. So when I had my own children, I made sure I was fair on each of them. I do the same with my grandchildren.”
Where To Take The Grandchildren
Each week I’ll bring you a suggestion for a great day out.
This time it’s Pecorama Underleys, Beer, Seaton EX12 3NA. Phone: 01297 21542, www.pecorama.co.uk
There’s something magical about getting onto a miniature train – however old or young you are! So check out Pecorama in this beautiful Devonshire fishing village. Open this year from April 4.
Children’s Book of the Week
Pick up this title and share the fun with your grandchildren.
Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes by Floella Benjamin (illustrated by Lydia Monks).
A lovely sing along board book that will inspire all ages. There’s nothing like a good family chorus. I was lucky enough to meet the multi-talented Floella many years ago before I was a mother!
Are your grandchildren enjoying a book at the moment? Please let us know the title by emailing us at moderngran@dcthomson.co.uk
