Birthday Pranks
Her family never tired of dreaming up new tricks, but for long-suffering Bibi, the joke was wearing decidedly thin…
Although there were positives to an April Fool’s birthday – the sun usually shone, everyone was painted with that super positive spring vibe and there was plenty of Easter chocolate around – mostly, it was a real pain, Bibi thought as she dressed for work at the blood unit.
Ever since she’d been at primary school, she’d never been sure if she was receiving a genuine present or if it was a prank.
Take the year she’d turned seventeen. Her youngest sister Caitlin told her she’d made “special birthday toffee apples.”
Caitlin’s cooking skills were legendary. Their dad always urged her to apply to TV’s Bake Off.
But when Bibi bit into the toffee apple she spat.
“Urgh! What’s this?”
When Caitlin finally stopped laughing, she wiped her eyes and owned up.
“A toffee onion. Knew you’d fall for it.”
It didn’t help that her family all had the pranking gene. One year Dad scared the life out of her when, rushing for school, she stepped onto the hall rug and there was what Bibi thought was a loud explosion.
“Argh!” she screamed.
“I put bubble wrap under the hall rug,” he admitted, crying with laughter. “To make you jump.”
All the pranks were harmless and intended to be fun, but they meant Bibi spent her birthday in a state of heightened awareness, waiting for the next “joke.”
When she met Ethan, it was worse. He was always up for a laugh and had wholeheartedly taken on the role of prankster with her family.
Like last year – they’d been together then…
For a moment, she stopped buttoning her blouse, her mind concentrated on his vivid blue eyes, lopsided smile and deep voice.
Not that this was unusual. Every morning, afternoon and evening she thought about her ex-fiancé. And she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe they were no longer a couple.
“How have you two split after all this time?” her best friend Grace had said only last night when she’d popped round.
“All good things come to an end, I suppose,” Bibi sighed.
She didn’t want to admit, even to her bestie, just how badly she was hurting after their break-up. They’d been together six years, since she was twenty. She couldn’t get used to him not being in her life.
“Well, that’s just it,” Grace had persisted, flopping into the corner of the turquoise sofa – his corner where she’d snuggle into him when they watched a movie or a rugby match. “You were too good to end.”
“I suppose,” Bibi said, curling into the armchair she now used since he’d moved out. “But I couldn’t stay with someone so… uncommitted.”
“Is he, though? Or are you too driven?”
Grace was right. Bibi’s goals were as legendary as Caitlin’s cooking.
She set weekly, monthly and yearly goals, working hard to achieve every aim. Since starting at the hospital she had planned to become the blood unit’s manager, signing up for training to progress further.
But Ethan – while sharing her interests and being a beautiful person – didn’t have any drive.
He’d been in the same job at the windscreen fitters since leaving school, and he’d no desire to move from their small flat above the haberdashery.
Worst, he’d never set a date for their wedding since he’d proposed three years ago.
Many times, she’d sat him down with the calendar, but he’d always say they’d marry when “…they’d saved more.”
Or when “…my brother comes back from travelling.”
Or when “…I’ve grown my hair out.”
Patiently, she’d waited for all this to happen and then a couple of months ago, she’d asked him yet again to choose a date.
He’d wriggled. “Oh, I don’t know. You know I’m useless at planning. You pick.”
“May?”
“Too soon,” he’d responded, scrolling through his phone.
“August, then?” she said, feeling that prickle of anger.
“Nah – I’m always busy with cricket.”
“December?”
“Too close to Christmas.”
She’d seen red then and they’d argued over his lack of commitment, drive and ambition.
“If that’s how you feel…” he’d said, a pink flush to his cheeks.
“It is,” she said, sounding harsher than she’d perhaps intended, and he’d left.
The minute she heard his car drive off she’d regretted her words. But she was proud, and vowed not to contact him first.
If he got in touch? Apologised?
Well, that might be different but as the hours slipped away into an evening, then into their first day, week, and month apart and he didn’t, she realised the impossible.
They really were over.
Roll up your sleeve, please, Mrs Martin,” Bibi said to the elderly lady sitting in the cubicle.
“It won’t hurt, will it?” her patient asked, her brown eyes haunted.
Bibi smiled. “Not at all. You’ve good veins so all you’ll feel is a little scratch.”
“I’ve had six children and a couple of ops – women’s troubles.” She winked. “Don’t take no notice but needles…”
“I know.” Bibi smiled to reassure her. “We see lots of patients who are super brave in many ways but who hate needles. I tell them to look away. It really helps.”
As she chatted, the lady pushed up her sleeve and Bibi tightened the tourniquet. While she talked, Mrs Martin turned towards the cubicle wall, as Bibi took the blood.
“Ready when you are,” Mrs Martin said.
“Actually, I’ve already taken the blood.” Bibi said, sticking a plaster on her arm.
“Really?” Mrs Martin looked amazed. “I didn’t feel a thing. You’re not playing one of them April Fool jokes on me?”
“No,” she grinned, showing the filled phial. “I don’t play those. It’s my birthday, you see.”
“Oh, many happy returns, dear. Don’t think I’ve ever met anyone born on the first of April,” Mrs Martin said, pulling down her sleeve and standing to leave.
“Well, you have now.”
As she spoke, Jackie, her colleague, popped her head through the curtain.
“Sorry to interrupt, Bibi, but some flowers have just arrived for you.”
“Another joke?” Mrs Martin winked.
“I hope not,” Bibi smiled.
The bouquet was stunning, but Bibi was angry as she re-read the card. This was the sickest prank yet.
Who had done this? Caitlin, Dad or Grace? She couldn’t believe they’d be so cruel.
Even if she hadn’t confided to them how much she missed Ethan, it would be obvious such a serious relationship would take time to get over. Surely, sending a bouquet and card from “Ethan” was inappropriate?
Happy Birthday to the most stunning girl in my world. I’m sorry it ended so badly between us. Please – let’s meet for lunch? Usual place. We need to talk. Love always, Ethan.
Of course, it sounded as if it could be from him.
But then all three “suspects” knew Ethan well and could word a card as if he’d written it.
As Bibi called the next patient, she wondered what to do. If she went and it was a joke as she suspected, she’d be humiliated. But if it was Ethan, didn’t she owe it to him to hear what he had to say?
The card had said to meet in their usual place, so Bibi headed off to the park opposite the hospital at one o’clock.
She couldn’t help feeling excited. She’d missed Ethan and if he had sent the flowers and card, seeing him would be the best birthday present.
As she neared “their” bench her heart gave a little leap. He was here! She could hardly believe it.
“Hello, you,” he smiled.
Even though she’d known him for ages, she felt almost shy in his presence.
“Hi Ethan,” she whispered. “Thanks for my flowers.”
Frowning, he said, “No – thank you.”
Now she was puzzled.
“But I didn’t send you… Grace!”
“Or Caitlin?”
They burst out laughing.
“Looks like we’ve both been pranked,” she smiled.
It was the quickest hour of her life, Bibi thought, but probably the most important.
Sitting in the spring sunshine they’d both apologised and she’d been pleased to hear Ethan had enrolled in a training course at the college.
“You were right,” he said. “I’d allowed myself to drift. I’m young and I should be more ambitious.”
“And perhaps Grace is also right and I’m too driven,” she murmured.
He smiled. “Sounds like we’re beginning to sort our problems… I love you, Bibi. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you.”
He kissed her then but when they pulled apart, she smiled.
“Before I go back to work, I think there’s something we ought to do…”
Although Bibi was pleased with the result of the family’s intervention, it put into sharp focus that her birthday was hijacked by their pranks.
This time it had resulted in her getting back with Ethan but as she drove home, she decided it was time to turn the tables on them. And for this to work, she’d enlisted Ethan’s help.
After parking on the drive, she texted him, Ready?
Yes, I’m parked round the corner.
She tried to wipe the smile from her face and practised an angry look in the rear-view mirror, then got out of the car.
“Happy birthday!” her family chimed, opening the front door to her.
As arranged Grace was also there, ready to join them for a meal to celebrate her birthday.
She noticed her mum look over her shoulder, perhaps expecting to see Ethan.
“Well,” Bibi said, her hands on her hips in mock outrage, “it would be a happy birthday if someone hadn’t tried to play with my life. Own up – who sent me and Ethan flowers?”
Caitlin and Grace glanced at the floor.
“Sorry Bibi, we thought it’d help you get back together…”
“Well, it made things worse, not better.”
Almost immediately everyone surrounded her, apologising. Bibi tried not to smile.
“We’re sorry. You’re perfect for each other. We thought… if you met for a chat you’d resolve things,” Grace said, looking sheepish.
There was a knock at the door. Bibi answered it, knowing it would be Ethan, and winked at him.
Everyone immediately apologised to Ethan, too. But then Bibi burst out laughing.
“You’ve been pranked!”
“April Fool!” Ethan laughed.
“I don’t get it.” Caitlin frowned.
“Your trick with the flowers got us back together,” Bibi said, reaching for Ethan’s hand. “But I’m so fed up with the birthday pranks, we decided to turn the tables on you.”
“Oh, thank God. I thought we’d properly ruined things for you both. It’s a horrible feeling,” Grace said.
“So now you know how I feel,” Bibi said. “I just want to enjoy my birthdays from now on, OK?”
“Yes, let’s call it quits.” Dad smiled. “No prank could have a better outcome than getting you two back together.
“Shall I phone the restaurant? Ask them for a table for six, not five. Assuming you’d like to join us, Ethan?”
Ethan smiled at Bibi. “I couldn’t think of anything I’d like more.”
A few weeks later Bibi and Ethan were curled up on the sofa in the flat. She was scrolling through her phone.
“You know, there’s really only one date that suits us both for our wedding next year,” she smiled at him.
“You’re right,” he grinned. “As long as you’re OK with it.”
“I can’t think a better day to get married than my birthday – and April the first, 2023, just happens to be a Saturday.”
“OK, let’s do it.”
“And that isn’t a joke?” she laughed as he swept her into his arms for a kiss.
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