Diary of A Modern Gran | In Deep Water

By Jane Corry

Illustration: Istockphoto

My right eye is focused on seven-year-old Rose and my left, on five-year-old George. If this sounds impossible, it’s because it is! But I am determined to keep an eye on both of them at the same time, even though one is splashing his way down one side of the pool and the other is splashing her way down the other.

“They are with their instructors, you know,” points out a young mum sitting next to me on the poolside bench. I do know, but the protective granny side of me still feels she needs to watch like a hawk.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t been to their swimming class for a few months. (My rota has changed with my daughter’s new job.) When I last came, my grandchildren were using floats. Now they are slashing their way, unaided, through the water so fast that I can’t distinguish them from the others.

Is that Rose? Yes. No. There she is! And what about George. Heavens, he’s gone underwater. Up he comes, beaming under his Goggles. OK. I know I can’t actually see his eyes but he seems as happy as a little fish.

“I’ve just one to look after,” says the woman on the other side of the me. “I used to have four grandchildren under eight in the pool but now they’ve gone into different classes.”

Four? Under eight? I feel sea-sick thinking about it.

“The tricky bit are the showers afterwards,” she adds.

I soon see why. My daughter had already given me instructions as well as two carrier bags with shampoo and nightwear and fluffy onesies which reminded me of last week’s sleepover. “Can you wash their hair in the shower after class and then put them in their nightwear, Mum? It makes it much easier because then they can go straight to bed.”

Easier for who? Not me. For a start, I’ve left the bags in the changing room. So I ask my new granny friend to watch my grandchildren, shivering by the showers, while I dash back to get the stuff. Nice shampoo! Maybe I’ll borrow it later…

George is easy because he’s got shortish hair. Rose’s is waist length and requires at least two pairs of hands. “Towel!” she yells out as the shampoo gets into her eyes. Oh dear. It’s soaked now which means it’s too wet to dry her. So I take off my jumper and use that instead.

At least both are big enough not to slip out of my arms like Rose did when she was 9 months old, after a baby swimming class. She promptly sprouted an egg on her head so my husband rushed us to the doctor. All was well but it still goes down as one of my major panic moments.

I almost lost my confidence about taking her again but persevered because swimming is so important. I’ve been particularly aware of it since we moved to the sea.

Then this got me thinking about how old I was when I learned to swim. We lived miles from the coast so my father used to take me to the local swimming pool near Watford. I still remember the smell of chlorine and his encouragement.

The truth was that I was terrified of getting out of my depth. In fact, at school, in order to pass our “white cap” proficiency test, we had to swim two lengths and then jump into the deep end. I could do the two lengths all right but it took me until I was nine before I had the confidence to jump in.

Now I swim in the sea every day throughout the year (providing the waves aren’t rough). I started doing this after a much older woman inspired me to follow her example.

Were you scared of swimming as a child? Do you take your grandchildren swimming now – and do you have any advice?

We’d love to hear from you at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Ask Agony Gran

“I know this might sound silly but I’m so scared of the world at the moment. I’m not frightened for me because I’ve had a good life although I’d like to think it will go on for a few more years! But I am worried about my grandchildren’s future. How are they going to cope with all these new terrors that are happening in the world? It seems like we are lurching from one crisis to another. I have five grandchildren from five to fifteen.” Julie

Jane says:

You don’t sound silly at all, Julie. You’ve put your finger on something that a lot of us are worried about. It’s natural to be concerned for our grandchildren. We want them to be safe and we can do this with practical everyday measures like teaching them to cross the road safely. But it’s very hard to protect them from war or unidentified flying objects or deadly viruses.

No one has the answer to all of this but I can tell you what I do in case it helps. I say my prayers every morning for my family and people in need. I have started taking much deeper breaths than the shallow ones I’ve been taking all my life (due to childhood pneumonia). I try to concentrate on what is happening right now rather than what might happen. Far too often, I’ve panicked about something only to find that the problem worked out or didn’t take place at all. I listen to my meditation app which also has daily wellbeing advice. I try to concentrate on the lovely things in life like daffodils. I exercise because that makes me feel better. I also think of all the things that our ancestors lived through. I try not to share my fears with the grandchildren. Fear is catching. So is calm. I can imagine my grown-up children chuckling when they read this because I tend to flap during small crises but am surprisingly even-headed during big ones. However, I’m trying. And that’s all we can do. Good luck.

Would you like to share a problem with us? It can be anonymous. Just email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Family News

Cohabiting parents with dependent children who need support after the death of a partner, can now apply for bereavement rights. Go to www.gov.uk . Your local Citizens Advice Bureau should also be able to help you apply.

Your Feedback

Thanks for your tips on how to have a sleepover when your grandchildren come to stay. Here are a few.

“Don’t get them ready for bed too soon. Wait until they are tired but not over-tired.” Jennifer

“Don’t suggest they ring Mummy or Daddy to say goodnight unless they ask for this. It can unsettle them.” Doris

“If you’ve got a spare room, make it into ‘theirs’. We’ve put our grandchildren’s names on the door.” Sandra

Where To Take The Grandchildren

Every week, we’re going to suggest an outing for grandchildren in different parts of the country. If you’d like to suggest somewhere, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Storytelling, transport trail, street scientists and more are on offer at Discovery Museum.

Discovery Museum, Blandford Square, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE1 4JA. discoverymuseum.org.uk Tel: (0191) 232 6789. General enquiries: info@discoverymuseum.org.uk

If you’d like to recommend somewhere to take grandchildren, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

The Funny Things They Say

This one comes from me! My grandson George is losing his baby teeth at the rate of knots. When I picked him up from school, he had another loose one. “Gan Gan,” he said during our drive home. “Do you have any teeth left?”

“Yes!” I said indignantly. “I do!”

Then I tried to touch wood but couldn’t find anything in the car. I’ll let you know if a molar drops out this week…

Children’s Book of the Week

Happy Confident Me Daily Journal by Annabel Rosenhead and Nadim Saad. Illustrated by Daniel Bobroff. Published by The Happy Confident Company £9.99. The guideline age is 7–10 year olds.

This is a gratitude and growth mindset journal, to boost children’s happiness, self-esteem, positive thinking, mindfulness and resilience. You could help your grandchild to write down some entries. Wish this had been around in my day…