Diary of A Modern Gran | Gran Joins The Club

By Jane Corry

Illustration: Istockphoto

“We’re going to breakfast club,” says Rose jumping excitedly up-and-down.

George nods solemnly. “We’re going there as soon as we’re dressed.”

Now I don’t know about you, but the idea of breakfast clubs in my children’s day would have seemed totally impossible. For a start, we lived deep in the country where everything took ages to get to.

It was hard enough, getting them to school on time – especially if a flock of sheep was in the way. The thought of getting there earlier to have breakfast would have been totally impractical.

And what about tables? I’m not talking about the table we sat at to have breakfast. I’m talking about multiplication tables. I often used this time to explain that 5×5 bowls of cereal came to 25.

At least I think it does. Regular readers might remember that I really can’t do maths…

It’s not just breakfast clubs either. My grandchildren’s primary school offers after-school clubs every day of the week except Fridays. Mine go once a week and absolutely love it. It’s also a useful emergency strategy if one of my children has to work late and I can’t step in.

In my day – here we go again! – there was just one afternoon school club available and that was only when you got to sixth form.

It was called the “debating society” and was held at the not-so-local boys school. One of my friends went and ended up marrying someone from there. They’re still married as far as I know, so maybe I should have signed up too! Mind you, debating has never been my strength. I don’t like arguments. Even in “fun”.

But now school clubs are here from Reception Year onwards to provide childcare and also entertainment. I can see the advantages if you live near enough. Sometimes however, I feel I’m running just behind these new schemes for working parents.

I could really have done with some extra help at times. For example, why didn’t we have those handy supermarket spaces that are reserved nowadays for drivers with small children in the back?

It’s a bit like Bob Dylan.

When I was 13, we were on holiday in the Isle of Wight when there was a big Dylan festival. My mother said I was too young to go, even with an older friend. Looking back, I wouldn’t have let my 13-year-old daughter go either. But at the time I felt cheated.

I still do, in a way, because I was born too late to enjoy the 60s. What about you? Were you a 60s raver or did you just miss the boat like me too?

Going back to after-school clubs, I have to admit that I feel a bit guilty. I am happy to have my grandchildren back at our house. But when I offer, my daughter says they love it and besides she doesn’t want me to “do too much”.

I know she’s being thoughtful, but I want to do my bit and besides, I love my grandchildren’s company. I adore them and besides they make me feel younger, as well as teaching me a lot. The other day, I re-learned the art of the Slinky (that wiry thing that goes up and down the stairs). Mind you, I still can’t get the hang of Super Mario. I seem to fall off that wall far too often, much to George’s delight because then it’s his turn.

This week, it was my turn to collect them from school, take Rose to dance class and then come back and play with George for a bit until Daddy picks him up. Then Mummy collects Rose from dance and they go back for supper which Daddy has made. If that sounds complicated, it’s because it is. But miraculously it seems to work. In fact, I’m full of admiration for my daughter and her husband. It’s almost as if they are running a well-oiled orchestra.

But this week it was a bit different. Whenever I ask my grandchildren what they want to eat before dance, they always say, macaroni cheese. This tradition goes back to their toddler-hood when I was strapped for time and bought some ready-made macaroni cheese from the local supermarket.

Until then, I’d always made it myself. In fact, it’s one of my six staple dishes.

But the bought variety went down so well that it gave George a new word at the age of a year. “More”.

Rose and George still appear to prefer the supermarket variety. This week I didn’t have time to buy it. So – oh oh – I made my own.

“This isn’t macaroni cheese,” announces Rose wrinkling her nose.

“Yes it is,” I say defensively.

“This tastes like penny pasta,” she declares with the knowing air of someone on a cookery programme.

I think she means “penne” but I’m impressed that she knows the difference between the different pasta shapes. I certainly wouldn’t have at her age. In fact, ravioli was exotic back then.

What do you cook/buy your grandchildren for tea? It would be great to have some new ideas that we can share. Just email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Ask Agony Gran

“I think my granddaughter has hearing problems. She’s three but her speech is still unclear. However, when I mentioned this to my son’s partner, she took offence and said I was interfering. Now I don’t know what to do.” Viv from Norwich

Jane says:

Dear Viv,

I wouldn’t mind betting that your letter strikes chords with lots of us grandparents. Let’s face it, we’ve probably had experience of all kinds of issues with our own children, including possible hearing loss. The problem is that not everyone takes kindly to well-meaning advice. Your son’s partner might feel that you are interfering. She might be privately concerned herself. She might not want to accept there is anything wrong. Yet I can see why you are worried. The sooner any problems like this get looked at, the better. Yet you don’t want to fall out over this.

If it was me, I might have a quiet word with your son. On the other hand, this might make it worse because he would probably discuss it with his partner and she’d think you’d gone behind her back. The other option is to sit tight and wait until your grandson goes to school. By then, the problem might have resolved itself. If not, he will receive get a routine hearing test anyway.

There is one other approach. You don’t say if you help to look after him. If you do, and you happen to find yourself at the surgery with him, you could mention your fears to the doctor and see if he or she has any advice. You could also pick up some leaflets on children’s hearing from the surgery. Again, this might cause problems with your son’s partner. But you might feel it’s worth it. There’s also some advice on the www.nhs.uk website which I’ve copied and pasted below. Good luck.

When will my child’s hearing be checked?

Your child’s hearing may be checked:

Within a few weeks of birth – this is known as newborn hearing screening and it’s often carried out before you leave hospital after giving birth. This is routine for all children and even those having a home birth will be invited to come to hospital to have this.

From 9 months to 2.5 years of age – you may be asked whether you have any concerns about your child’s hearing as part of your baby’s health and development reviews, and hearing tests can be arranged if necessary.

At around 4 or 5 years old – some children will have a hearing test when they start school, this may be conducted at school or an audiology department depending upon where you live.

Your child’s hearing can also be checked at any other time if you have any concerns. Speak to a GP or health visitor if you’re worried about your child’s hearing.

The Funny Things They Say

“When I collected my six-year-old granddaughter from school last week, I asked if she’d done maths that day.”

“‘No,’ she said. ‘But we did that plus thing.’” Granny G from Yorkshire

This made us chuckle! Thank you.

Please send us any “funnies” to moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Family News

The state pension age is currently 66 but is due to rise to 67 between 2026 and 2028. It will then rise even further to 68 between 2044 and 2046. However, there is likely to be a review of this early next year.

Have you been affected by pension changes? Please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

Your Feedback

Two weeks ago, I asked if you’d tell your grandchildren if you were ill or whether you’d keep it to yourself so as not to worry them. Thanks for your replies. Here are two of them.

Suzanne from Canada says:

“Be open and honest! My sons and I have talked about that. Just as I want them to share with me when things are challenging, they definitely don’t want me to keep secrets from them when it comes to my health. About a month ago, it was discovered that I have breast cancer. I’ll be seeing a surgeon on Tuesday for a consultation. Then the cancer care team should come up with a plan for me. So much waiting. Anyway, I told my sons as soon as I got the diagnosis, and they were very grateful that I did. As for the grandchildren, that’s different. The eldest is 7. I won’t be saying anything to him unless it becomes obvious that I am ill, and I hope his parents don’t either. I just thought of that – I had better tell them!”

Granny Cathy says:

“Recently, I had a slight ache in my left arm as if I had carried a heavy shopping bag. Then it went away. The next day, it was still achy so I made an appointment with the doctor. But before I got there, I felt dizzy and collapsed in my husband’s arms. It felt like a bus had parked on my chest. The doctor sent me to A & E where they said I could have dropped dead. After several tests, I had two stents fitted in my heart. It taught me a valuable lesson. Don’t ignore worrying symptoms even if the doctor says it’s nothing. Listen to your body.”

Where To Take Your Grandchildren

Every week, we’re going to suggest an outing for grandchildren in different parts of the country. If you’d like to suggest somewhere, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.

IMAGINE CHILDREN’S FESTIVAL, Southbank Centre, London. February 8-20

Lots of amazing events for children of all ages, including storytelling, dance and music. Many events are free. For more details, visit www.southbankcentre.co.uk

Children’s Book of the Week

An insightful read for all.

The ABCs of Inclusion: A Disability Inclusion Book for Kids by Beth Leipholtz (Author), Anastasiya Kanavaliuk (Illustrator). Wise Ink. £15.28

Do you have a grandchild with special needs? The author of this book is the hearing mother of a deaf child. Her book introduces children with hearing loss, anxiety, autism, cerebral palsy, Down’s syndrome and epilepsy – well worth a read with your kids or grandkids.