Diary of A Modern Gran | Cavemen & More
“Guess what, Gan Gan?” chirps seven year old Rose when I collect my grandchildren from school on my first post-Christmas school run. “We learned about cavemen and Queen Victoria today!”
“Wow,” I reply, clutching her little hand tightly and George’s on the other side as we cross the road.
That must have been a crash course in history, to have zoomed through all those centuries! Or maybe it was a taster.
Clearly, the lesson has inspired my seven-year-old granddaughter.
“Did you know that cavemen went out to work and cave women stayed in caves and had babies,” she asks as I strap them into the car.
I can’t help being slightly provocative. “They might have done other things as well,” I say.
“What?” asks George.
“Well they might have painted on the walls while their husbands were out.”
The children are very good at painting. Thankfully neither of them has painted a wall with yellow handprints like one of their uncles did at the age of six. Perhaps that’s to come.
“But there weren’t any shops,” says Rose. “So where would cavemen buy the paints?”
“They might have made the paints from blood,” I say without thinking.
“Blood?” they both gasp from the back of the car.
Oh dear. I feel myself getting into deep water. And I’m not just referring to the rain that’s belting down on the windscreen.
“Maybe from the animals that the cavemen killed,” I say.
“Ugh!”
I might just have gone too far. Especially as half our family is vegetarian. Including me.
“But they might also get colours from wild herbs and flowers that grow outside the cave,” I add hastily.
“They would have to be careful,” said George in a solemn voice. “You can’t eat anything that grows outside unless you’re allowed. It might be poisonous.”
“Quite right,” I say.
I try to change the subject quickly conscious that all this might be repeated in the next history lesson. “What did you learn about Queen Victoria?”
“She was very old when she died,” says Rose. “We also learned about Grace Darling. Did you know that she was the first woman to go out to work?”
I’m not sure about that one. I suspect that Rose might have got some of this muddled up.
“She went with her father to the lighthouse to save people’s lives at sea,” Rose continues. “She was very brave.”
“That’s very true,” I say.
Isn’t it wonderful when children tell you about lessons that they’ve had? It takes me back to my own school days. I have to say that my least favourite was maths.
So my stomach plummeted when I read about government plans to continue maths until 18 at school.
Thank goodness I don’t have to do this although I do get the occasional nightmare when I’m back in my gymslip and haven’t revised properly for an exam (do you?). But then I thought again.
Maths until 18 could really work – although I do hope that students are paired with understanding teachers who can help those who aren’t naturally in tune with maths.
I had a particularly tough teacher when I was 10 who made me feel very stupid when I couldn’t unravel the mysteries of long division. By the time I started my O-level course, I was in the bottom class. I’ll never forget the shame. But then something wonderful happened.
School brought in the wonderful Mrs McDonald to teach us “dunces”. Many of us got A grades (myself included) because she took time to explain and didn’t make us feel inferior. So if the government is going to continue maths to 18, I hope that there will be specially-skilled teachers to impart the mysteries of equations to those of us who would rather write stories.
Thankfully, both my grandchildren seem to enjoy both maths and English.
But when I’m put in charge of Rose’s homework, I have noticed that the theory nowadays is completely different when it comes to adding up and taking away.
What do you think? Do you have grandchildren who find maths difficult? What can be done about it?
Meanwhile, we’re getting into the swing of January. I’m rather pleased to be back on the school run even though I only do it once a week now. It gives a structure to my day. I love bringing them back home for tea and chat.
But Rose has started a new after-school dance class at a nearby gym so it’s a bit of a rush to get her there. In fact, I find myself arriving early in my haste to be a good gran.
And that’s how I find myself reading the notices outside the class.
It seems there are sessions for adults too. I’ve always fancied a bit of tap. Maybe that will be my new year resolution!
Then the following day, I receive a letter from Sky. It confirms the termination of my father’s subscription. It was one of many which my sister and I had to cancel since his death in November. The day after that, I had a call from a home food delivery service. It wants to know if my father is going to be continuing. I’d already been in touch to say we didn’t need it any more but the message hadn’t got through. The man was very apologetic but it brought tears to my eyes.
Although my father is constantly on my mind, it’s things like this which bring our loss back into the foreground. I know that some of you feel the same from the kind letters you have sent. Thanks to all of you.
Perhaps it’s a reminder once more that we need to live life for the day. I wonder if cavemen and Queen Victoria did the same? Neither of them knew what was round the corner for them either.
So my other January resolutions are to concentrate on the present and enjoy what I have – including my grandchildren.
Excuse me now. I’m going to fill in that tap dance for adults form…
Ask Agony Gran
My grandchildren won’t stop arguing…
“I’ve got two grandsons aged 14 and 12. They used to be really good friends but now they constantly argue. It’s upsetting for everyone.
“My daughter has asked me to speak to them about it although that’s not easy as I don’t live nearby.
“Do you have any advice? Both my daughter and her husband are only children and didn’t have to deal with this.”
Pat from York
Jane says:
I really feel for you. We all want our loved ones to get on. But sometimes it just doesn’t happen. On the other hand, many of us find that we get on better with certain members of the family when we get older. Or vice versa.
I think the answer lies in making sure that the fallouts don’t last too long, which can make it harder to get back together.
14 and 12 are not easy ages. I suspect that both your grandsons are finding their feet and their voices
A two-year age gap might not seem much but actually a 14-year-old is doing a lot more than a 12-year-old, both in terms of physical changes and academically/ socially. This can lead to divisions.
I agree that it’s not easy for you to be asked to adjudicate, especially as you don’t live nearby. Do you talk regularly to them? If you don’t, I would suggest FaceTime or whatever method you feel more comfortable with, to establish a regular contact.
Then, if you do feel like giving some advice, it might not feel so obvious to drop it in rather than launch straight into the subject.
It’s very tempting for us grandparents to ask our grandchildren what they’ve been doing. But how about telling them what you’ve been doing.
Maybe you could tell them about problems you might have had with someone like a neighbour or someone at work. Younger people don’t always realise that older people can have similar problems too. It can help them feel they are not alone.
Keep communication going and if you can, ask questions like ‘How is everything?’ Open-ended questions can be a way in for them to tell you more if they want.
If they don’t, I’d be careful not to push too much. Simply be there. Then, when half term comes, how about asking them both down to stay with you?
If they start squabbling, that might be your clue to step in or talk to them or do whatever feels right at the time. Your email didn’t say if you had brothers or sisters yourself but if you did, maybe you can tell your grandsons about your own squabbles and that, hopefully you are friends now. This might help your grandsons understand that problems like this can be part of growing up. Good luck.’
If you would like to ask advice on a problem, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Family News
Finding it tough to push your grandchildren’s pram? Well now a self-propelling stroller has been developed which has an automatic parking brake, can help you manually push up hills and is said to detect obstacles and help baby get to sleep.
I have to admit that when I was first in charge of my grandchildren, I found it very difficult to even open their fold-up strollers! Have you got any stories about pram pushing? We would love to know about them.
The Funny Things They Say
“Recently my grandson took part in a dance lesson at school. He chose ribbons as a ‘prop’ and the teacher told him he looked like he was dancing round a maypole. When he came out of school, he proudly announced that he loves ‘pole dancing’! ”
Thanks to Marilyn for sending this in. It made us laugh! If your grandchildren or children have said or done anything funny, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Memories
Like many of us, I was saddened by the news of Fay Weldon’s death. Back in the 90s, I was sent to interview her by a national newspaper. We bonded over a packet of chocolate raisins (she was eating them when I arrived and encouraged me to share them with her!).
When I left, I cheekily asked if she’d mind reading the first chapter of a novel I’d started to write. She kindly gave me advice on character and plot. Some years later, when I finally had my first novel published, she gave me a quote for the front cover. She also invited me to her annual birthday lunches in the garden of her home and she came to speak at a literary festival which I help to organise. Fay was not just an amazing writer. She was also very encouraging to other writers. Thank you, Fay.
Below is a picture of Fay and me at the literary festival.
Jane and Fay
Do you have memories you’d like to share with us? Do email at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
Children’s Book of the Week
Each week I’ll share a book that’s lovely to read with your grandchildren.
My choice this week is Emperor Of The Ice by Nicola Davies (author) and Catherine Rayner (illustrator). £12.99. Walker Books
It’s a lovely story about a pair of penguins trying to protect their chick against the harsh climate of the Antarctica. A great way to help children understand some of the problems we’re facing environmentally.
If you would like to recommend a book for grandchildren, please email us at moderngran@dctmedia.co.uk.
