Join In Elf Day, Support Alzheimer’s Society!
‘Mum had a zest for life and dementia didn’t steal that from her’
Maria is supporting Alzheimer’s Society’s fundraising Elf Day for the second year. It’s in memory of her mum Harriet, but the day also offers an opportunity to educate her students about the importance of person-centred care when it comes to people living with dementia.
Maria explains, “I picked up on changes in my mum Harriet, but she hid it very well. I’d been cooking meals for her but one day I was working late so I got a ready meal for her.
“I checked she knew how to heat it up and she told me what she needed to do, but when I asked her to show me she couldn’t actually do it. We laughed about it, but it showed me she hadn’t been coping.
“It took a while for the diagnosis to happen, just getting Mum to agree to seeing someone. The nurses at the memory clinic did things at her pace and didn’t overload her.
“They knew how to build up her trust and built a person-centred relationship. So when she saw them they would laugh and chat, and she felt at ease with them. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2017.
‘I could trust the information’
“The Alzheimer’s Society website was really helpful, especially when I was looking at medication for Mum. The online fact sheets and guidance were great. I knew I could go there and trust the information.
“I also called the helpline and was able to talk through how I felt as a carer to an independent person outside of my immediate circle. They were always really welcoming and reassuring.
“As a social worker I have been privileged to work with and support people and families affected by dementia, and understood how challenging it can be.
“Mum’s social worker was amazing.
“It was too difficult to have some conversations with Mum as a daughter, so having a professional there talking about what was important to her and what she wanted in the future was helpful.
“We supported Mum to stay at home as long as she could. Having a personal budget meant she could have carers fit in with what she wanted to do – like staying up late to watch the golf!
“Mum loved to be out and about she was always asking ‘What are we doing next?’ She wore us out!”
“The carers found she loved jazz”
Maria continued, “Mum moved into a care home in 2018 for the last year of her life, and I could see the difference in her when carers got to know her. They found she loved jazz and when they played it, she’d sit there with her jazz hands going, smiling. She just lit up.
“She had a zest for life and dementia didn’t steal that from her. The carers never lost sight of Harriet and who she was as a person. I now work in the School of Education, Midwifery and Social Work at Kingston University. SoI am eager to instil the importance of person-centred care in our students.”
In the care home, still enjoying a laugh
Elf Day – fun with a message
“In 2021 we raised over £1,000 for Alzheimer’s Society with an Elf Day cake sale and activities at the university in partnership with the Alzheimer’s Kingston Dementia Friends Community Group.
It is run by Megan Comber, who is so inspirational. We’ve developed that relationship and are working with other local organisations, coming together to promote good practice and resources.
“We used Elf Day as an opportunity to work with them all and share local volunteering opportunities with students. All this as well as getting dressed up! It was absolutely fabulous.”
“Developing skills and knowledge is vital”
“This year we’re working with the Dementia Friends Community Group on another event for Elf Day, bringing the student community together. We’re having a cake sale again at Kingston Hill campus, with students and staff baking. Megan will be holding a Dementia Friends session which will be open to all students and staff.
“Dementia can touch all of us on a personal or professional level, so developing skills and knowledge is vital.
“Partners will again be coming in to talk to students about spending time alongside people with dementia. This can include helping with activities or at meal times in local care homes and hospitals.
“For me, Elf Day is part of a bigger journey to help our students spend more time with people living with dementia, and get to know them as a person beyond their diagnosis.”
