A Labour Of Love
In trying to find the perfect happy ending for her story, it seemed Ella had managed to find her own…
Ella searched her mind for something else to talk about. Weird. She should have plenty of things she could talk about with her army husband, but for some reason she was at a loss for words.
“When are you coming home, Daddy?” six-year-old Lily asked, staring anxiously at the screen.
“Soon, pumpkin. But it’s good to talk on here like this, isn’t it?”
Mark’s voice was full of warmth even though Ella could tell from the slightly worried look in his eyes that he felt the same as her, like he knew of the distance that had grown between them. Metaphorical as well as physical.
Lily nodded, cuddling into Ella’s arms.
“Yes. But I still miss you. Mummy’s OK reading to me, but I miss you reading to me more.”
“Apparently, I don’t do the animals noises quite right, so I’m told,” Ella said with a raise of one brow.
Mark chuckled. “I’ll have to give you some lessons when I get home. What you have to do is snort like a cow, and moo like a pig.”
He proceeded to demonstrate making Lily and Ella laugh.
“Noooo, Daddy, don’t be silly! Pigs don’t moo – cows moo… MOOO.”
“Ahh. Of course. I’m going to have lots of catching up to do when I get back, won’t I?”
Ella knew there was a mixed message in his sentence. The chasm between them at the moment seemed wider with every stretch of duty he took. And she wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“I miss you.” She blew him a kiss, Lily copying. “You take care.”
Mark blew kisses back. “You too.”
Lily continued to blow kisses at the screen as Ella ended the Skype call.
Knowing Mark was in the army before she married him hadn’t really prepared her for how she’d feel when he was away on tours of duty. Sure, she got on with daily living, and there was more than enough to keep her occupied, but home didn’t feel quite the same.
At least, that’s how it had been in the beginning. Even up to a few months ago. But the last time he’d been home, Ella felt that something had changed between them.
He seemed different. More subdued.
She’d tried talking to him, telling him what Lily had been up to, and what fun they’d had, but that had seemed to make matters worse and he’d seemed to pull away from her even more.
Unable to talk to him, and unable to work out what was wrong, she’d carried on as normal.
But deep down, she missed the old Mark. The one who teased her about loading the dishwasher a particular way or the fact that she liked bright colourful cushions on their bed.
“Well, it’s bedtime, young lady.” Ella told her daughter, snapping her thoughts back to the present.
“Will you read me a story?” Lily gave her a beseeching look.
“It’s late, so only if you’re quick at brushing your teeth!”
She laughed as Lily scampered off her lap, taking the stairs at what sounded like two at a time.
Upstairs, having settled her daughter, Ella opened the fairytale book.
“Once upon a time…”
It was nice, just for a short while, to lose herself in a world of make-believe and magic where dreams really could come true – even if there was a moral to learn along the way.
“…and they all lived happily ever after. The End.”
“You’ll soon be reading me your Sara the Snail book. You know… the one you wrote coz you miss Daddy,” Lily said sleepily, giving another big yawn.
“Maybe…” Ella gave a faint smile, remembering how the writing about it had first started. She and Lily had been snuggled up on the sofa, watching the football on television and her thoughts had wandered, as they often did. She’d voiced one of them aloud.
“I wonder if animals ever want to watch football? Or play it?”
“Tell me a story of one…” Lily had giggled.
“Hmm. Let’s see…” Ella screwed up her face in concentration. Recalling watching a lonesome snail the previous morning as it slowly wended its way across the patio determined to get to the other side, a smile played around the corners of her mouth.
“It was a bright and breezy morning when Sara the snail made a wish to the big shell in the sky to have a huge adventure…”
She’d never seen the snail in the garden reach its destination, but she liked to think that with persistence it had safely made it.
“Tell me more!” Lily exclaimed.
That’s when the idea occurred to her. Maybe in writing Sara’s adventures down, as well as keeping Lily amused, it would be cathartic for her, and a way of reaching out to her husband. Perhaps she’d even be able to get it published.
Thereafter, writing seemed to take up all of her spare time.
There was now just the ending to go. But that was the hard bit. How was she going to finish the story?
At the moment she couldn’t even think of what to say to her husband. How on earth would she write an ending for a book?
Sighing, Ella cast an eye at the clock before leaping up, grabbing a jacket, and flying out the door to collect Lily from school. She’d have to think later.
“Is the book done yet?” Lily asked, stuffing an entire fish finger into her mouth.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. And no. I’m a bit stuck for an ending at the moment.”
Lily gave her a look that only a young child can give. A look that summed up everything, simply and sweetly, without any of the incongruities that adults can muddy things with.
“That’s easy, Mummy. You just need everyone to live happily ever after.”
Ella gazed at her daughter. If only life were that easy.
But maybe it was. Maybe she was trying to overcomplicate things.
“I do, don’t I? Thanks, sweetheart.”
Finally finished, she sent it off to a few publishers. After all, nothing ventured …
Of course, predictably, the rejections plopped into her inbox proving nothing in life was easy – from publishing a book to relationships. Especially relationships.
Her gaze fell on a photograph of Lily and Mark in pride of place on the mantelpiece. Yes. Everything worthwhile had to be worked hard at.
Mark would be home from his tour of duty soon, but would things be different this time?
You ready for a bedtime story yet?” Ella asked a few weeks later, as Lily got into bed.
Lily nodded, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
Hearing a sudden noise below, Ella’s heart jolted.
“I’ll be back in a moment, sweetie.”
Recognising the figure in the hall, she paused.
“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
“I caught an earlier train,” Mark said quietly, looking up at her, with an anxious expression, as though he wasn’t sure of her reaction to his words.
“I know this isn’t the right time, but I need to say it… it’s been playing on my mind. I’m sorry. I know things have been a bit strained between us…”
“Me too,” Ella quickly interrupted, running down the last few stairs before taking hold of both his hands, gazing at him with what she hoped was an understanding look. “And I think I now know why. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of it before.
“Is it because you’ve felt a bit left out of family life; coming in and having snatches of normality before going away again?”
“How did you…?” Mark gazed at her, dumbstruck.
“I’ll explain later, but we’ve started talking about it which is important,” Ella said, putting a finger to his lips, feeling all of her old feelings for Mark come flooding back.
Not that they’d really ever been away. They’d just been out of sight, behind an invisible barrier. Now the barrier had been taken down and they could hopefully move forward.
“But for now, I think our daughter needs to have her bedtime story read to her.”
Together, they climbed the stairs.
On walking into Lily’s room, a small tornado of emotion blew past her, shouting,
“Daddy!”
Mark enveloped her in a big bear hug. “I missed you!”
“Mummy’s written a book…”
Mark looked quizzical as he plonked himself down on the bed.
“She has? Can I read it?”
Passing it to him, Ella’s heart gave a little flip-flop of excitement tinged with nervousness. Would he understand what she was trying to say in it?
Mark opened the first page of the printed A4 pages.
“Sara was a friendly snail but she was feeling sad because she’d had an argument with her best friend, Sid, who had to be away from home a lot. They hadn’t been getting on so well when he was home, and Sara didn’t know why.”
Mark’s gaze flew to Ella’s face, and she gave a slight nod, knowing that, yes, he understood that the book kind of mirrored real life.
“Having heard from her friends how exciting it was to see the football World Cup live,” Mark continued to read, “and knowing how much Sid loved football, Sara decided that next time he was home, they should go on a special journey together to see it. Maybe that way they’d become better friends again.
‘It’s so exciting seeing it for real,’ a pig told her.”
Mark duly grunted and snorted, making Lily giggle.
“Sara knew there would be challenges ahead, but she was determined to make things right between her and Sid.”
Ella and Lily listened as Mark read the trials and tribulations Sara and Sid had to endure, before finally reaching their destination and seeing the football World Cup live and realising how much they meant to each other.
“Sometimes wishes do come true, Sara thought happily as she and Sid hugged each other. The End.”
Mark snapped the book shut. “This is great. You ought to get it published.”
“I did try. But then I realised that getting it published wasn’t as important to me as writing it for us to share, and for you to read to Lily.”
She knew her voice cracked slightly and felt Mark squeeze her hand. Taking strength from his grip, Ella continued.
“Maybe I might try sending it off again one day. But now, what’s most important is being part of a family and sharing this story together.”
“I love you,” Mark whispered. “And I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK,” Ella whispered back. “I understand. And I love you too.”
They glanced over to Lily, smiling to see that she’d fallen asleep.
Hand in hand, they tiptoed from the room.
Just as a snail’s wish can come true, and it can eventually reach its destination, so can a loving wife and mum, Ella thought, as her husband pulled her towards him, crushing her to his chest, in a long-awaited embrace.
Maybe life could be as simple as writing and they all lived happily ever after.
