Top Of The List
WRITTEN BY MARIE PENMAN
The best-laid plans can go awry… but can Michelle salvage something from her abandoned list of dreams?
The advert caught Michelle’s eye as she scrolled mindlessly through Facebook, not really reading anything but lacking the energy to put her phone down to go and do something more worthwhile.
Italian holiday deal! One week, three cities: Rome, Florence and Naples. Only £429, including flights, hotels and rail transfers.
It wasn’t really the price or the location that jumped out at her – it was the fact that the holiday involved travelling around Italy by train. Which had always been one of the top items on the retirement list.
Married for thirty-two years, Michelle and Rob had begun compiling their retirement list when they’d turned fifty. The plan was that they would both retire at the age of sixty and then spend their life doing all the things they hadn’t had time for up until then, what with having three children, two careers and one large house that constantly needed decorating.
But once they were retired – well, it would all be so different.
Whenever they read an inspiring newspaper article or watched an interesting TV programme on a subject close to their hearts, they added more items to the retirement list.
The last time Michelle had looked at it, it had included travelling around Italy by rail, hiking across the north of Spain, booking a villa holiday for all the family in Greece, learning to tango in Argentina and camping in the Western Isles of Scotland…
Whenever Rob or Michelle had been under stress at work, or were just feeling tired or fed up, one of them would say “Think about the retirement list” or “Just wait till we’re retired.” And they’d laughed and chatted about all the things they would see and do when they had the time.
Not knowing that Rob, in fact, wouldn’t have any time.
Diagnosed at the age of fifty-seven, he’d died of cancer six months later, and left Michelle in such a paralysing state of shock and grief, it had felt physically painful. She missed him so much – Rob had been her best friend, her partner, her rock – that without him, she felt rudderless, drifting through a sea of sadness so deep, she thought she would drown.
But of course she’d had to keep going, for the three children – Poppy, who was thirty at the time, Daisy, who was twenty-eight, and Josh, the baby at twenty-five – all of whom were devastated by the loss of their dad.
But now, almost three years later, so much had changed. Poppy had got married and had a baby – smiley, adorable Robbie, the absolute light of their lives; Josh had moved away to start a new job in London and Daisy was working flat-out in her new career as a paralegal. Meanwhile,
Michelle had just turned sixty and as planned, had retired from her job in the NHS.
The girls had suggested that she keep working, just to keep busy, but the truth was, she was tired and ready to stop. She threw herself into redecorating the house, tidying up the garden and emptying cupboards that were full of junk.
And then she’d spotted the advert and suddenly, all she could think about was the retirement list, long forgotten but so fondly remembered.
Rob had kept a note of all their plans in a journal, which Michelle was able to find quite easily in the desk drawer.
Just seeing his handwriting again made her gasp in sadness… But sure enough, there was Travel around Italy by train. And although it broke her heart that Rob was no longer around to do this, Michelle began thinking – should she, could she, make the trip on her own?
She mentioned it to Poppy when she went round for lunch the following day…
The girls knew all about the retirement list, of course, and had always encouraged their parents to plan for lots of adventures once they’d stopped working. But did that still apply if there was only one parent?
“A trip round Italy sounds amazing, Mum,” Poppy said as she spooned yogurt into Robbie’s already full mouth. “And if it’s all arranged and organised by a travel agent, then why not? I just wish I could come with you, but this one doesn’t have a passport yet, of course!”
Michelle smiled fondly at her beautiful grandson, who had been born at just the right time and had helped fill the huge gap left by Rob’s death.
“Will you be OK on your own, though?” Poppy continued. “I mean, I know you’re perfectly capable of travelling alone, but will it be much fun?”
Michelle laughed.
“Well, I’ll still be able to visit all the galleries and tourist attractions on my own, and I’m sure I’ll manage to enjoy the lovely Italian food and wine just as much.”
Daisy and Josh agreed with this and voiced their approval when Michelle called them later.
Deep down, she’d been hoping one of them might offer to join her for the trip, but the departure date was August the ninth – less than a month away. Daisy had a big case coming up at work while Josh had only just started at his office.
Regardless, Michelle decided to be brave and went online later that night to book the trip. It began with a flight to Naples and two nights in a hotel there, then a train to Rome and two nights there, followed by a train to Florence and three nights in a hotel close to the city centre. It sounded perfect.
As soon as she got her confirmation email with the full itinerary, she forwarded it to the three children just to prove it was really happening.
Over the next three weeks, she bought a new lightweight suitcase (she couldn’t face taking the luggage she’d used so many times with Rob) and some holiday clothes, many of which were already reduced in the summer sales. Then she purchased a guide book to Italy and immersed herself in planning her trip.
Now, here she was, about to land in Naples airport, and she suddenly felt panicky and tearful. What was she doing? This was supposed to be a dream holiday with Rob – instead, it was a complete venture into the unknown.
She was a timid, middle-aged woman on her own who spoke no Italian – why did she think she could do this?
Michelle gave herself a mental shake. Of course she could do it! She was a confident, intelligent woman who’d had a successful career and raised three children too.
It wasn’t as if she was travelling up the Amazon in a canoe. All she had to do was lift her bag down from the overhead luggage, get off the plane and get in a taxi. She would take it one step at a time.
And just like that, she did it. An hour later, there she was sitting in her hotel room, clutching her passport and wondering what to do next. It was four o’clock and she hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast.
She rummaged through her handbag and found a cereal bar and a bottle of water – that would do for now. Taking a sip of the lukewarm water, she headed over to the hotel window and opened it, gazing in wonder across this vibrant, bustling city.
Breathing in the smells of Italy – garlic, oregano, coffee – she stopped and thought about how ridiculous she was being. She was in the city that literally invented pizza and she was eating a cereal bar? Come on, Michelle, wise up!
After a quick change into fresh clothes, she grabbed her bag and headed outside, where the sun was baking the cobbled streets, and wandered for half an hour before picking a restaurant that looked busy and friendly and smelled delicious.
Sitting with a glass of wine and a bowl of olives in front of her, she sent a message to the family group chat, adding a photo of the small piazza she was sitting in. Arrived safe and sound! x
Michelle then ordered and ate an incredible pizza – it tasted so different, and so much better than back home – and immediately felt different: excited, happy and ready to make the most of her trip.
Over the next couple of days, she walked miles, looked at hundreds of works of arts, wandered around cathedrals and ruins, and ate and drank in style. She got into the routine of having breakfast in the hotel – usually strong espresso coffee and a pastry or two – before splurging on lunch, sampling things on the menu that she’d always wanted to try, but had never dared.
After two nights in Naples, she caught the train to Rome, luxuriating in the sleek, modern train that zipped through the beautiful countryside in just over two hours. By now, Michelle was accustomed to travelling alone and had even picked up a few words of Italian. She found her hotel easily and after checking in, dumped her bag again before heading out to explore.
Rome was like a film set – busy, glamorous and full of stunning architecture and crazy traffic. Michelle loved it!
She saw all the sites she’d planned to – the Spanish Steps, the Sistine Chapel, the Colosseum – and though she couldn’t help but think of Rob and how much he would have enjoyed it all, she felt him with her.
By the time Michelle sank into her train seat, heading for Florence and her final stop, she was exhilarated, exhausted and excited at the thought of another city to see on this amazing whirlwind tour.
After a journey of just over three hours, she walked out of the train station into the picture postcard scenes of Florence, crammed full of Renaissance architecture, crumbling churches and terracotta roof tiles. The sheer beauty of the place took her breath away and she stared around in awe before checking her map and striding purposefully off in the direction of her final hotel.
She spotted it on the next corner, with a sprawling pavement café at the main entrance, its tables packed full of tourists and locals enjoying a late lunch. As she got closer, she smiled to see a young woman wearing the same trainers that Daisy always had on, and this made Michelle think of her children and briefly miss them.
Suddenly, the young woman and her friend jumped up and waved excitedly. Michelle, blinking, realised it was Poppy and Daisy, her beautiful girls!
They ran towards her, screeching in excitement and laughing out loud, before grabbing her in a tight hug and sweeping her off her feet.
“How did you…? What about Robbie? Daisy, your job?” Michelle shrieked, delighted to see them.
The girls explained everything – how Daisy’s court case had been postponed when an expert witness dropped out, how Poppy’s husband had taken time off work to look after Robbie, and how they’d managed to get cheap, last-minute flights to Florence to surprise their mum.
Later, as they drank wine and finished a delicious meal, the girls held up their glasses and toasted Michelle.
“Here’s to you, Mum. Dad would be so proud of you,” Daisy said.
“Also, Mum, we’ve been thinking,” said Poppy. “How does a family holiday next year in Greece sound? It’s about time Robbie got a passport.”
And as Michelle looked at her girls with tears in her eyes, she felt nothing but grateful – for the family she had, and for the husband she’d lost.
“Greece sounds perfect,” she said. “I’ll put it to the top of my list.”
Our My Weekly Favourites series of feel-good fiction from our archives continues on Mondays and Thursdays. Look out for the next one.
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Allison Hay
I joined the "My Weekly" team thirteen years ago and, more recently, "The People's Friend". I love the variety of topics we cover both online and in the magazines. I manage the digital content for the brands, sharing features and information on the website, social media and in our digital newsletters.
