The Wadhams: Crowded House

By Allison Hay

shutterstock © Dishes in the sink Illustration: Shutterstock

Illustration: Shutterstock

We’re delighted to bring you a new series of Life & The Wadhams, featuring the younger members of the family.

Not yet met the Wadhams? Read the background on My Weekly’s best-loved family, then come back and enjoy the next generation’s adventures! Here’s instalment 1…

As usual on a Monday morning, there was pandemonium at No.23 Elderslie Terrace as the Wadham and Clark household got ready for a busy week – mostly by getting in each other’s way.

Downstairs in the main house, mum Pinky was banging on the bathroom door, exhorting 17-year-old Jennifer to get out of the shower, while beside her 12-year-old Matty hopped from foot to foot.

The door flew open and Jennifer stomped out wrapped in a towel, hair dripping soapy puddles of water onto Pinky’s cherished parquet flooring.

“Why can’t he use your en-suite?” She glowered as Matty flew past her into the bathroom.

“Your dad’s seeing to Ruby in there – she’s had a an upset tummy and her nappy this morning – ”

“TFI!” Jennifer groaned. “Well, what about Grandma and Grandpa’s? They’re not usually up at this time.”

Despite her exasperation, Pinky grinned. “No, but I think Natalie spends more time in the shower than you do. And I wouldn’t have thought that was possible. Now come on, get your hair sorted and get ready for school. It’s nearly eight o’clock.”

Jennifer shrieked and scurried down the hall into her bedroom moaning in her wake “Bet precious Natalie doesn’t have to come out of the bathroom with shampoo still in her hair … why couldn’t I have had the bedroom upstairs … I’ve got exams, you know …”

Pinky sighed and returned to her own room to begin the wrestling match that was getting toddler Ruby dressed. For two pins, she’d take the spare bedroom in her parents’ granny flat herself and leave them all to it!

By 9am, peace reigned. Jennifer and Matty were safely at school, Pinky’s husband Jim and their son Alex had gone off to work at the garage Jim owned. Alex’s fiancée Natalie had left for the hairdresser’s where she worked and even little Ruby was out of the house, her grandpa Mike having volunteered to take her and terrier Tyson for a stroll around the park.

Pinky’s mother, Polly Wadham, sitting at the kitchen table in her dressing-gown, smiled her thanks as she took a welcome cup of coffee from her daughter’s hands.

“Do sit down with me, Pinky,” she urged. “Leave the washing-up and everything for now and take ten minutes out.”

Pinky sighed and looked around the kitchen. Admittedly never pristine, this morning it looked as if a bomb had hit it. There were dirty plates, cups and glasses on every surface. Splodges of porridge and crumbs of toast bedecked the table. Empty milk and orange juice cartons lay on their sides in small pools of liquid.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then wisely took her mother’s advice, sitting down with an even larger sigh.

Polly’s eyes twinkled.

“Sorry that Alex and Natalie cut their world travels short to come home?” she asked.

“No, of course not!” Pinky loved nothing more than having her large family around her. “It’s just that I didn’t expect to be putting up Natalie, too. But she has nowhere else to go. Who’d have thought her mother would go off on her own travels, letting out her house for six months?”

“It’s so good of you to let them use your spare room, Mum. I hope they’re not being too much trouble.”

“They’re no trouble at all,” Polly said. “I just wish our flat was a little bigger. The kitchenette is fine for me and your dad, especially as we eat most of our meals with you anyway, but it is not really suitable for a family of four.”

“Which will soon be a family of five,” Pinky reminded her. The news that her first grandchild was on the way had come as a shock to her – especially as her youngest child wasn’t yet two. And yet, it was what had brought Alex and Natalie back from their travels in the far east.

“Come on, I’ll help you get this place cleaned up, then Dad and I will treat you and Ruby to lunch out. I think we all deserve a little break.”

“I need a break!” Natalie was bemoaning to Alex as they shared lunchtime tea and toasties in the small café near Natalie’s work. “I know it’s lovely of your grandma and grandpa to put us up, but honestly, Alex, I don’t know how much longer I can stand the crush and the noise. We’ll have to get our own place.”

Alex was in complete agreement. Much as he loved his big, noisy family, he was keen to find his own feet. Their months of travelling had made the couple independent – even without a baby on the way, they’d outgrown living at home.

Natalie looked at her phone. “We’ve still got fifteen minutes. Finish up your tea and we’ll go along to the letting agency. They might have something new in.”

“Since Friday?” Alex made a face, but nevertheless stood up.

“And we could look in the estate agent’s window, too.” She caught Alex’s hand. “I know we can’t afford to buy until we’ve saved up a deposit, but let’s dream a little dream, shall we?”

Caught up by her optimism, Alex grinned and took her hand. OK, so they couldn’t afford to buy a house. They could barely afford the rent and council tax on the lettings they’d seen, none of which so far had been suitable. But they were in love and they had a baby on the way and a large, loving family to support them.

He gasped inwardly as he remembered how near he’d come to losing Natalie, when he’d almost dumped her for his dreams of travel. Fortunately, Grandpa Mike had talked him round – he’d known true love when he saw it. After all, hadn’t he and Grandma Polly been happily married for 60 years?

Gazing into the estate agent’s window at the inflated prices of even the smallest bungalow, he caught Natalie’s eye in the reflection of the glass, and once again, despite his current “homeless” state considered himself the luckiest man alive.

Pinky might have expected Saturday to be less hectic, but no – the usual chaos reigned, with Jim and the kids all trying to get ready for work at the same time. Even Jennifer had to be up early for her Saturday job at the antiques shop Mike had only recently sold, and Matty had early-morning football practice.

Pinky had instigated a bathroom rota, which no-one stuck to, and a rota for chores, which worked marginally better under Jim’s eagle eye – though by the time she’d listened to everyone’s moans and grumbles she often felt she’d have been better off doing things herself.

What had happened to her cheerful, happy family? They all loved Alex, and had welcomed Natalie into their fold with open arms, but everyone living together in such close proximity just wasn’t working out.

Pinky worried all day, and by five o’clock had decided she’d speak to Jim when he came home. Maybe they could lend Alex and Natalie the deposit to buy a flat. She knew Mike and Polly had already offered, and been declined, the couple preferring to stand on their own feet. But surely they’d take it from her and Jim?

The back door banged open, and Jennifer sailed through, bringing with her a burst of fresh air, energy and barely suppressed excitement.

“Guess what, Mum? You know the flat upstairs from the antiques shop? The one you and Dad used to live in before we all came along? The tenants have moved out and my new boss, Bob, has said Alex and Natalie can move in if they want. I was telling him all about them, see, and he thinks they’ll be ideal. He says he’d rather have people he knows, and he won’t charge too much rent. Do you think they’ll be keen, Mum? Can I tell them?”

She whirled round as Alex and Natalie came in through the door.

“Guess what? I’ve found you a flat – and you’re going to love it! Just you wait and see.”

Next time: Alex and Natalie find settling down together a little trickier than expected. Look out for the next instalment online on May 14.

We hope you enjoyed this new story – there will be a new one every month. And of course, don’t forget you can read the very first Wadhams story from 1961 here.

You can also enjoy more of E.M. Holland’s original stories from the 1960s in Life and the Wadhams, The Best of the 60s, a collection of 30 stories following Mike and Polly from their days as newly-weds to parents of a happy family of three. It’s available for our shop now!