Safely Navigating Online Dating… Over 50
By Charly Lester, co-founder and CMO at Lumen, the dating app for over-50s
Charly Lester
Online dating can be a daunting idea at any age. There are safety concerns, the worry of potential false identities and self-confidence issues too.
Getting back into the dating game in your 50s and onwards, poses a whole new list of questions and concerns. Many of them, you wouldn’t have even considered 20 years ago.
It can feel as if you’re stepping back into a world you thought you knew, only to be greeted by new rules and regulations that you’re expected to instantly adjust to.
However, with a record high number of post-1969 “babies” out there actively looking for a partner, there’s never been a better time to start dating again after 50. And by making yourself aware of the risks and how to overcome them, you can embrace these changes and enjoy your newfound dating scene once more.
Keep your personal information personal
Here’s some basic advice that will go a long way towards keeping you safe.
- A potential new partner has no business knowing any details that could link back to sensitive information about your personal finances or address, for example.
- If you choose to take the conversation offline, don’t share information or photos which might contain personal information.
- Always trust your instincts. If you feel that something is odd, then it most likely is.
- If someone constantly refuses to meet in person, or asks for money, something is probably not right.
- It is easy to feel as if you know someone well after a few messages. But remember, fraudsters are experts in deception.
Don’t feel pressured to take the conversation offline
Pic: iStockphoto
The beauty of dating apps is that the power is always in your hands. There are specific filters that you can tailor to your wants and needs. These are usually teamed with strict safety measures put in place by apps and websites themselves.
Nevertheless, the reality is that you are talking to and meeting strangers. So being aware of risks and possible obstacles that exist nowadays is paramount.
By talking on the app for as long as possible, you maintain control, allowing yourself to get to know a person as well as you can. You can also make the decision to block or report someone if necessary.
Scammers and fraudsters usually aim to lure you away from the dating sites as quickly as possible, because then their behaviour can no longer be monitored or traced over text or WhatsApp.
Catfishing? What on earth is that?
Catfishing is a term used to describe scammers who will steal the photo of an attractive person. They use it to create one or many fake profiles as a front while trying to get personal information from their victims.
Lumen has additional safety features designed to prevent this problem, which is unfortunately fairly widespread in online dating and on social networks. Have you had any friend requests from airline pilots or naval captains?… Then you’ve probably already encountered a catfish!
On Lumen, there are multiple safety features to protect users. These range from photo verification of every single member, which eliminates the possibility of catfishing, to our function allowing you to report or block users that you are wary of.
If you find someone’s behaviour towards you concerning at all, we have specific measures in place that can instantly block the user in question and stop their messages from reaching you.
First date essentials
Picture: iStockphoto
So you’ve been chatting to another member for a while and like the sound of them? Before actually meeting someone, be careful not to share your address, and always make your own way to and from the first date.
This way, you are keeping your most personal information to yourself and avoiding any possible danger or discomfort.
In the same way, it’s always best to organise for the date location to be somewhere public. Busy bars or restaurants are the perfect setting and ensure you are in an environment where you feel at ease.
It also means that you have the power to leave if the date doesn’t go according to plan.
Keep a friend or family member in the loop on your whereabouts and check in with them at the end of the night, so that they know you are safe and well. Regardless of age, being alone with a stranger does pose some risks, and your loved ones will appreciate the communication.
It’s also always best to exercise caution when it comes to your drinks on dates. Never leave your drink or bag unattended – this will eliminate any concern you may have for your personal safety when you are away from the table.
Stay safe – have fun!
Pic: iStockphoto
No matter what age you are, navigating your way around the dating scene is no mean feat. Online dating is constantly evolving and presenting new risks that we didn’t encounter a few years ago.
The key is to strike the perfect balance between remaining vigilant, while also enjoying yourself and embracing the exciting journey that online dating takes you on.
Sarah Proctor
I've worked on a variety of regional newspapers and national magazines. My Weekly and Your Best Ever Christmas are fantastic, warm-hearted brands with an amazing, talented team. I'm a sub-editor and particularly love working on cookery, fiction and advice pages - I feel I should know all the secrets of eternal life, health and happiness by now, but hey, we all need that regular reminder!
